


Forever Torn

by borderlinecrazy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bitterness, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Death Threats, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Knotting, Language, M/M, Magic, Medical Procedures, Mpreg, Multi, Other, Pack Dynamics, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Smut, Top Derek, eventual forgiveness, herbal medication, perscription drug use, post college, strategist Stiles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borderlinecrazy/pseuds/borderlinecrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every soul is a strand, and sometimes they merge, sometimes they split. Thus the strands of fate, of life, are woven into the fabric of fate. One night, two souls merged, and another was made. But the next morning, Derek told Stiles it was a mistake, and pushed him away. Five years later, and according to plans Stiles made for the betterment of the pack - a pack he no longer is a part of, a pack Derek pushed him out of that one awful morning, and now the last member of the pack has finished schooling and is coming home. But even as things are finally starting to come together and work perfectly - it isn't. The pack is splitting, forming a second Beacon Hills pack - and Derek doesn't know why, or who the Alpha stealing his Betas away is. He needs his strategist, but Stiles isn't talking to him. Will he ever figure out what's going on, and how to fix it? Will the two souls, or the two packs, ever reunite into one fabric, one fate, once more? Or are they forever torn?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Prologue  
Tomorrow was the welcoming home party for Lydia. She was the last of the pack to graduate from college, and with Scott, would be one of only two continuing their education even further. However, she was doing her first two years of a five year program on-line, here in Beacon Hills, before leaving once more - to go to Medical School. Derek had to admit it, Stiles, ADHD and all, had really planned it out well when during their final year, the only calm one they had had together, and he sat everyone down and discussed future carreers, class planning and the lot.

He said it had taken him nearly a week, several dozen references, and changing from his highly addictive Adderall to a less addictive herbal supplement. He'd used the lack of sleep caused by his withdrawals to research more, faster, and create both graphs and diagrams. Lydia, for all her awards and recognitions, was actually far less intelligent, and had been highly impressed as even she had admitted this was something she'd never even thought to do.

Scott wanted to be a vet, as his many years assisting Dr.Deaton clearly demonstrated. He also, obviously, knew all about them and their many secrets and could help with many of their illnesses and injuries. But, Stiles pointed out, as a werewolf himself, he could not handle the wolvesbane directly if/when wolvesbane poisoning should occur - meaning he alone could not handle being the Pack doctor. A human was needed; Lydia was completely immune to the bite, due to their complex history, so even if accidentally bitten during treatment, she would be fine. Plus her award had been science related, and she had a brilliant mind. Med school for her, then - and even when Dr.Deaton retired and left his clinic to Scott, the pack would still be fully covered.

Stiles had taken it further than that, though, with his planning. He had pointed out there was neither veterinary nor medical schools in Beacon Hills, so those two at the very least, and every one likely - would have to leave the pack for a time for education. Thus, asking permission for temporary residency in other territories to prevent misunderstandings and battles would be necessary. Also, as the pack would be uncomfortable being disbanded for so long, attending schools where graduating sooner would be preferred. Breaks between semesters, trimesters, or terms, depending upon school type, needed to be at home. They also needed to be staggered, so everyone could see more than one person, but so that the whole pack was never all gone at any given time. To plan that, Stiles had admitted, meant he would have to plan for everything.

And he had.

Not just Lydia's future, everyone's... he took into account who needed help, what scholarships, grants and endowments were available and who was most likely to get them, the works. On-line classes versus traditional, the distance involved for attendance, no detail was over looked. The results? Amazing!

In three and a half years, Scott had managed to receive his Bachelor's of Science, with a veterinary concentration. He'd taken six months off to marry Allison, whom was finishing up her dual degrees in Paranormal Sciences and Mythology. He then went off, and only had one year left, for his final degree. He was home as often as possible. In fact, like the rest of the pack, he was here now - ready to welcome and celebrate Lydia upon her return.

Allison had taken over the library Stiles had insisted be included when the Hales mansion was being rebuilt. First she added her family's surviving text (most notably the bestiary) then bought and added copies of all of Dr.Deaton's related reference texts. It only made sense the many salvaged (stolen) books from the witch they vanquished (killed) back in their junior year also end up there. And then, over the course of her studies, doubled and tripled the loads, as every book needed for class, reference in a paper she had to write, listed as a resource in the back of a class textbook, or otherwise somehow receiving even the slightest bit of her notice, ended up with a copy (legally or otherwise) in their ever growing stash. She also had attained three black belts, and multiple gun licenses; including the ever elusive and expensive concealed carry permit. She was, herself, registered as a deadly weapon, as legally required by any person with one, much less more than one, black belt. She was the pack's hunter, unsurprisingly, just like Lydia was going to be the pack's Doctor and Witch.

Erica had gotten a degree in business administration from a small community college in a the same county. Not the same town, sadly, because small as Beacon Hills was; it was too small to be a college town - even for a community college. But, as it was close as it could get; the commute was only twenty minutes each way, and Erica had been able to stay in town, help holding the pack together. She and Boyd, surprisingly, had married just last month. It was surprising because nether, outside of the pack, had liked each other much (not that they disliked each other, either - just... they hadn't been friends) in high school. In college, they'd only seen each other on breaks. Derek felt like he'd been blindsided on this one, honestly. But, it strengthened the pack's bonds, and helped keep their secrets secret as now neither would be risking things by trying to bring their potential romantic partners into the pack - or lie to them, and keep them out. She was running a small store on main street, and currently saving enough to own her own business, rather than managing someone else's. She was also running a 'drop shipping' (Derek wasn't sure what that meant) business on-line to help 'speed things along.' 

Boyd had traveled out of state, but not far - Washington, for his degree. He was the only one with student loans still being paid back, and last Derek had heard, he only had a few months left - unlike most post-grads, whom took decades to pay everything back. Stiles really had planned out *everything*. Boyd had an engineering degree, mechanical to be precise, which would normally not be of use in such a small town. A fact which everyone had brought up, and Boyd had used to protest vehemently against his proposed future, way back when. Knowing something they did not, due to his 'connections' (his Dad being the Sheriff and Stiles being nosy) - a computing company was planning a new factory less than an hour away, to be built over the next two years, which gave it two years to get on its feet while Boyd finished classes. Stiles had been very smug, and bouncy, over that bit of news. Three months ago, he had graduated, and two and a half months ago, he had a job as a 'project coordinator.' This allowed him to bring in money from outside the town, as well as giving the pack plenty of reasons (excuses, lies) for traveling when they needed to.

Isaac, because of his caring nature, had been suggested counseling and social work. For the pack, this meant there was a built in shrink for when things went sideways, and they needed to talk it out. It also would help when babies started coming and the pack was growing. Not to mention when dealing with negotiating treaties and alliances with nearby packs... Actually, Derek had been rather impressed with this one. At four years on the dot, Isaac had graduated from an upstate, but not Ivy league (no one, not even Jackson, despite his whining, had gone Ivy - between higher costs, more difficult scholarships, and less flexible graduating timelines, they had been written off as bad ideas) university with his BS. His Master's could be done entirely on-line in two years, with a single year for his PhD later or he could attend the same school for two years going straight for the doctorate and skipping the Master's. He had chosen to come home, and open a small practice as a therapist, with part-time work as a school counselor at the high school, and do his on-line degree. He should be finishing up in the next six months, a little behind, but with two jobs; no one was complaining. He didn't have any real plans yet for when to go back for his final degree, if he even would.

Jackson got a law degree. He had always planned on that, from the start - wanting to go into politics. Stiles told him 'mayor is fine, but never try beyond that; you'll have too much attention and won't be able to hide.' He'd sulked at first, then reluctantly agreed. In the short term, he was working in the tiny (and only) firm in the town. He had no specialty, because the town was too small - so he handled everything from wills, to divorces, to defending criminals, and civil suits. He also was the pack's lawyer, should anything untoward happen (again). He and Lydia were engaged.

Danny, as one of the other (at the time) human members of the pack, was a bit harder. Unlike Stiles and Allison, whom wanted to stay human, or Lydia, whom sort of had to, he wanted to be bit eventually, just not now. Derek had found out later it was mostly because he wanted to have sex with Isaac, but was afraid of being turned by accident during, so better to already have it done first... Derek had really *not* wanted to know that much about his pack members' private lives! Danny had gone the tech school route, and like Erika, had been able to stay in town. There actually was a tech school in Beacon Hills, even if there wasn't a community college (ITT Tech really *is* everywhere!) He was the first done, in only two years, and had a very nice job managing the servers of the local ISP/cable/phone company. His job perks included free top-of-the line phones/phone plans, a car, and really really good vacation time. He also obviously managed everything computer, phone, and internet related for the pack. He even went so far as to pass his hand-me-down phones, once new numbers and plans had been attached to them, to other members of the pack every time his company upgraded his. Derek was still trying to remember how to use this version of Blackberry...

Derek was glad everyone was here, and in most cases, here to stay now, but in a few... well, they'd been here to stay soon. The pack had their roots firmly established, and was set up to be very self-supporting and extremely strong. They even all had every hunting and fishing license issued every season available. Yes, they did hunt 'waskelly wabbits.' This way, if ever they were investigated, and random meat showed up in their freezer, rather than being arrested for poaching, they could easily claim it was part of legal, weigh and taxed, kills. No risks in being caught with leftovers from full moons, anymore.... should anyone be surprised at this point that was a suggestion from Styles?

As much as it pained him to admit, even to himself, Derek knew when it came to planning for, and taking care of, the pack - Styles probably made a better Alpha than he did. But, he'd never, ever say so - he barely admitted the thought to himself in the darkest, loneliest corners of his mind.

And where was Stiles? Good question. Derek had made the fuck up of all fuck ups the night of the pack's high school graduation... despite a nearly 7 year age difference, and Stiles still being 17, Derek had slept with him. That was a monumental screw up. Did he fix it? Sure, he admitted to it being a mistake, one they shouldn't repeat especially since Stiles wasn't even pack. Then, Derek being Derek; he'd avoided Stiles until Stiles left for his degree - agriculture, so the pack could have a farm. 

He had no idea what exactly he had said or how it had been taken until nearly three months into Stile's first year away; he'd already finished his first term, was taking finals, and supposed to be coming home for two weeks before heading back for his second of five terms per year. His first clue was the Sheriff bitching to Mrs. McCall about Stiles not coming home - he still doesn't know Derek overheard him, and since he died a year and a half ago, he's not too likely to ever find out. The second clue was the call he received from a female pack leader verifying Stiles really was now a human Omega - verifying Derek had indeed kicked Stiles, one of his few human pack members, out of the pack. She wanted to know before she started trying to woo him into her pack for one of her young betas to date... and Derek? He felt the sky fall on his head, the earth fall out from beneath his feet, and every other metaphor you can think of... before she quoted Stiles' rambling quote from him, from that morning, and he knew, and he just shut down.

If Stiles had kept to his own schedule and his own plans, he should have graduated last year, and come home. Derek had no idea; he hadn't heard from Stiles since that morning. Not for the lack of trying; especially after that phone call... but, nothing. He didn't even come home for his father's funeral, which to Derek, spoke huge massive volumes of anger, hurt, and betrayal. Derek had become Kate; stolen Stiles' pack and his family, his home and his future... Derek hated himself every time he thought of Stiles, and of that morning.

Roughly a year into trying to re-establish something with Stiles, the pack stopped talking about him to Derek. Sometimes they'd talk about him to each other when they didn't know Derek could hear, but as soon as he got close enough (not even in the same room, sometimes... dratted were senses!) for them to know he could hear - they'd stop. No one was willing to help him either; not even when he ordered - not asked; and used his Alpha authority. No, Stiles had been declared a 'Derek-free zone' it seemed, and no one was going to break that.

So, the pack was all here again, finally; due to Stiles' genius planning, and was all set up, and would be celebrating tomorrow with Lydia for her achievements, but not with Stiles. Stiles wasn't pack, not anymore; not for five long years.


	2. Lydia's a witch

Lydia was excited. She'd just graduated college, she was engaged to her amazing boyfriend, she was a witch, currently (though only one Alpha knew it) a member of two wolf packs despite being human, was coming home for her wedding and a year's long break before going back to school again, was pregnant, and was off baby-sitting duty (thank God; as much as she loved her God-kids, pack mates, or whatever the heck she was supposed to call them - they were terrors and too heavy for her pregnant self to be lifting!) And if all that wasn't enough to be bouncing as high as Stiles did before he went off the Adderall (or when he drank coffee, even with the herbals... God, please keep Stiles away from the coffee) Well. Lydia had always had a mean streak, and hearing what Derek had done, even if Stiles wasn't her favorite person (and still wasn't, honestly; though they were good friends now at least) (most of the time) well, Lydia was looking forward to blindsiding him with this. For five long, pissed off years she'd been waiting, even when Jackson tried to forbid it, and they nearly broke up over it, and even when he finally said she could do what she wanted but he wouldn't be a part of it. Yes, Lydia was excited. Today she got to exact revenge on behalf of one of her friends, and her new Alpha... the one she would keep, when after today, she only belonged to one pack, his. Today she was going to tell Derek, at his home, at the party he put together for her, that she was leaving his pack for another.

God, if there was one, and frankly with all the supernatural stuff she dealt with on a day to day basis, and how much of the religious crap turned out to be wrong, she rather doubted 'He' existed, but God knew (if there was one to know) she'd been looking forward to this!

Allison and Scott had found out about her plans, and her reasons for them, by accident when she and Jackson had been fighting about it. That was.... three years ago? They'd not only joined in, but amazingly brought in Allison's parents as well. Apparently, they took what had been done as 'harming a human' and thus violating the alliance between the Hales pack and the Argent hunters. Negotiating a new treaty had not been all that difficult...

Neither had stuffing the library full of blank books with fancy covers, while she emptied it of everything of any genuine interest or use. Her new pack was going to need those books, just like it would need her expertise. Stile had been a 'Spark;' a sort of natural at magic able to do things by sheer force of will, but he wasn't one anymore. The pack needed her both as a doctor *and* as a witch, and she was not above using the fact she knew that to get her way.

Plus the kids, the ones there already, and the one she was currently carrying - they would need a mother figure that was actually female. No matter how good Stiles was at being 'pack-Mom' he was still undeniably masculine in all his geeky, crass glory. In a wimpy sort of way, of course.

Let's face it, the Governator, Stiles was not.

So, yes... Lydia was excited. Oh, and this morning, she learned that the garbage-to-gas converter had finally started working properly. It was only a year behind schedule, but then, it had been a difficult thing to complete as it had over heated and melted a few times. Fortunately, getting the farm house, barn, and other buildings operating on solar power had taken a lot less time and effort. The farm the park was going to live on, (the Alpha and kids were already there) was now very self-sufficient, and bordered the forest on two sides making full moons so easy.

It was going to be PERFECT!


	3. Confrontations

Like most parties, surprise or otherwise (unless the VIP was also the host) things got going long before the VIP arrived; in this case, Lydia. However, she wasn't the last to arrive, since she was arriving with company. Scott, Allison, and her parents Chris and Victoria Argent, had arrived with her. Jackson, before she left to pick up Scott and the Argents, had hissed, "Think about what your doing! This is the last chance for you to change your mind, Ly. If you do this - you'll break him!" She smirked, "Good!" and flounced off, self-satisfied and unrepentant. 

After all, when it was all said and done, Stiles was the one whom had saved Jackson when he was a monster. When the magic took her over to reincarnate Peter, the one to break the ties before it killed her; that was Stiles. The plans and strategies that saved them all - especially Erika and Boyd whom had been kidnapped, when they faced the Alpha pack; those all came from Stiles. When nearly everyone had killed an Alpha and yet no one became one like Derek had after killing Peter, Stiles researched it and discovered it was all about pack dynamics and dominance rites, making everyone breath a little easier that the pack was truly dead and not going to come back to haunt them. Well, Peter had also been dead, so ... at least they hoped no one was coming back. His research was the only thing that allowed the witch to die. 

When all is said and done, not even taking into account how he helped improve their lives with the school planning, or all the times he bandaged people up, every single person in the pack in some way or form owed Stiles their life at least once. Especially Derek, what with the whole two hours in the pool thing, when they were both injured and Stiles was late on his med dose and had never been a very strong swimmer to begin with. He chose lacrosse, not the swim team, for a reason.

Yet Derek had thrown him to the wolves, in an absurdly appropriate metaphorically speaking manner. So, now Lydia felt it was time to remind Derek of all he owed him, and that 'turn about is fair play.' 'All's fair in love and war,' right? And in this case, it was both. Or, at least it had been for Stiles... and that, sadly, had been tear-stained basis of their friendship. Stiles had come to her, just before everyone left for their assorted bright futures, crying and begging for advice, comfort... he had said he couldn't go to Scott, because their friendship had always been too conditional, and Scott wouldn't understand. He already lost one; he couldn't lose them both. She had listened, at first simply politely, then intrigued, followed very quickly by incised. 

Stiles had been partly right; when Scott found out Stiles had slept with Derek, had fallen in love with Derek, he felt betrayed and infuriated. Their friendship very nearly died. Then, of course, came the shocking news, and well, Allison forced Scott to apologize and talk it out. Their friendship recovered, but has never since been as close or as strong. Even Lydia, whom frankly didn't care enough to pay attention most of the time, could tell Stiles still, even now, is simply waiting for the other shoe to drop and Scott to leave again. He's had to do everything on his own, at least in his mind, because he hasn't had anyone he can fully trust to support him unconditionally.

That's part of why she's doing this. Yes, revenge and punishment are grand, and oh hell yes she's going to enjoy it, but somewhere in all of this she's hoping to heal some of that broken faith so Stiles can trust again. This will allow Scott to prove he's with Stiles and not going anywhere, that she's behind him 100% always, that the Argents will protect him... that he isn't alone, not even in his head.

It's with these thoughts that she walks into the Hale mansion, Chris Argent having opened the door in a wide sweep for the ladies of the group. She led them, with Allison and Victoria just behind her, and Chris and Scott at the back. It was a battle formation, even if subconsciously taken, and it thrilled her to notice it. A huge banner proclaiming "Welcome home, Lydia! ~ signed our Pack" draped corner to corner across the open wall that imaginably divided the dining area from the living room. Peter was standing off in a corner by himself. Derek was by a window, looking out on the forest. Jackson was seated, watching for their entrance, nervous. The other two couples were talking amongst themselves. It was, well, absurdly normal.

"Derek Hale, the Argents clan wishes to issue a temporary peace as you have broken our truce yet we do not wish -yet- to declare war. We respectfully request you chose the terms you are most comfortable with, out of a list we are proposing to follow." Chris's words created an immediate silence and a panic so strong Lydia did not have to be a were to smell it. 

Before Derek could even get himself together enough to ask, Lydia began her part. "I like the sign, really, but shouldn't it be signed 'the Hale pack' not 'our pack'? After all, I'm not pack; I'm human, and I believe five years ago Derek made his stance on humans not being pack painfully clear. But, don't worry, it doesn't hurt me any that you're so small minded. My Alpha, after all isn't; he has no problems with having me being a human member of his pack!" Now the chaos began. There weren't many people really, only seven, and one of those was not even surprised so he wasn't contributing at all to the noise, and yet somehow.... between them, it was impossible to understand what was being said, or by who.

Derek actually started to lose control, and his eyes glowed, his fangs appeared, claws grew, and his fur began to pop. Allison shot the ceiling, thankfully with a normal bullet, because patching the new hole and resealing it would be enough of a pain without having to deal with wolvesbane concerns... This didn't bring total silence immediately, irregardless of what Hollywood might have more than once implied. It did, however, calm everyone down enough to realize order was needed. Derek calmed down enough to at least maintain most of his human features and his normal speech patterns.

Lydia looked at Chris first, and he sort of waved her off. As far as he was concerned, this was her show. Then, one by one, she looked at the others in her group. Scott nodded at her, Allison glanced at Scott, then looked back at Lydia and smiled. Okay. She nodded to Scott, then turning back to the Hale pack, she smiled. "I'm also formally renouncing the Hale pack. I only joined for the truce, mutual safety, and Stiles. We're safe enough now, whether I'm in this pack or not, the truce has been broken, and you kicked out Stiles. I'm always going to be more loyal to him, my first friend, the one whom helped me through being turned, and the man that more than once saved my life at the risk of his own, than to you, Derek." He faced Derek head-on, eye to eye, challenging him, much as he always had. Frankly, no one was surprised; they'd been expecting Scott to leave for almost five years, though as more and more time past, they had begun to expect it a little less and a little less. They hadn't yet reached the point of foolishly thinking he would stay, however.

"Allison?" Erika asked, hesitantly.

"I'm also a human, and thus like Lydia, not pack. I'm here to support Scott and to help my parents negotiate a new truce." Erika nodded at her, saddened to now be the only female in the pack. She felt heartbreakingly alone. Allison felt for her, even though they had never been overly close, but her heartache was a mild one, and she'd recover soon.

Derek looked at Jackson, sharply. "No, I am not leaving you, too. I do not approve of this at all! The only reason I never told you about it before was I was still hoping she'd change her mind, and not go through with this. Lydia, I really hope you know what you're doing; your petty need for vengeance on Stiles' behalf is hurting everyone, not just Derek! You're going to regret this, and when you do, I hope it doesn't break you." Lydia glared at him, but Derek relaxed slightly, and turned his attention back to the invaders... formerly thought of as friends and guests.

Lydia smiled fiercely. This was it, the time of triumph! Chris needed no cues to begin. "Firstly, in the unwilling turning of Stiles Stilinski, we find harm done to a human, thus the breaking of the treaty by Derek Hale of the Hale pack, subject to termination according to current rules. Stiles himself, however, wishes to adopt a 'forgive/forget' mentality and move on. In exchange for your life, we're demanding your willing acceptance of our new terms." 

Shock, fear, and a mired of other emotions ran across everyone's faces. Even Jackson was stunned now; he hadn't known that that night, Derek had turned Stiles while they had sex. Derek, too was shocked. His memories of the night weren't perfect, but he'd assumed that was because he'd been drunk. After all, he was a born wolf; even when he'd still been a beta he always remembered even in his wolf form; no training required. He didn't doubt, though. There was no reason, no way, to fake being turned. He slid to the ground, closing his eyes, and bringing a hand to his face as a pained groan escaped him. Stiles never wanted the bite, not when Peter offered it (and it's risk of death) as an alternative to 'other things' (torture followed by certain death). He'd flat told Derek, before the offer could be made. Even when battling the Alpha pack, when being bitten was a near guarantee as their teeth were part of their weaponry, he'd been so careful because he'd been so very sure of what he wanted (or didn't want, in this case). He, Derek, he had taken that away from him. It was bad enough when all he'd done was screw an underage boy under the influence of alcohol and dump him the next day. He'd thought it couldn't get any worse than finding out he'd inadvertently banished Stiles when he was rejecting him. But he was wrong; it could... oh, God, it was! This was sooo much worse...

He was not about to argue with them any more (not that he'd said anything yet to be an argument thus far anyways, but still). For this, his life should be forfeit. That they wanted to spare it... well, whatever punishment they decided would never be enough, but he would take it. It was the only thing he could do now.

"...How?" Danny's voice was soft, but as the only sound in the unnatural stillness, it rang out loud and clear.

"According to the bestiary, 'when a witch or wizard engages in relations with a were in wolf form upon the night of the full moon, it is the same as being bitten, though no scar is left to tell the tale.'" Lydia paused, thinking how best to continue, "We weren't really sure at first, you know. He didn't show signs immediately, he already had control because of all the time spent helping all of us get ours. Then when we were sure, well... we didn't understand how without a bite either; not at first. We actually found out by accident when looking for the answers to something else in there."

Jackson snorted. "Only Stiles would get fucked into being a werewolf!" Lydia started to cross the room to slap him. Erika hit him just before she could, being closer, so she held her place. She'd slap him later, at home, for that though.

Derek just sort of groaned into him palms. It was official, sex was Derek's worst enemy. It just kept ruining his life! First Kate and now....

"Well, now that that's been cleared up, shall we?" She grinned darkly at Chris, and motioned for him to continue.

"Actually, I think that is a wonderful idea." Victoria's unique voice, with both dulcet tones and raspy deeper bits (scarred vocal tissue, breathing in too much smoke) broke through. "Allison, would you mind, dear?" She finished with a disarming smile.

"Okay, Mom. So, here's what we're asking: no more turning humans without permission. That includes practicing safer sex in the future, Derek." She looked really embarrassed, but you've got to give her credit for having guts; embarrassed or not, the woman kept on talking. "We also want to acknowledge a new pack, they call themselves the Beacon Hills pack, of which Stiles, Lydia, and Scott are obviously members. The Alpha of the Beacon Hills pack does not wish to take over, merely share territory as both packs are small, and there is plenty of room. We insist on no fighting, no supernatural warring, which could cause civilian casualties. Your pack has forfeited all rights to safety so in even of dispute, the Argents side with Beacon Hills, not Hale. In event of another witch, rogue wolves, rogue hunters, vampire - don't give me that's look, they're in the bestiary, just because we haven't seen one in the last 235 years doesn't mean they're extinct! Scott, stop rolling your eyes! or any other supernatural Murphy event, the Beacon Hills pack will join with the Argents and the Hales pack to defend Beacon Hills and all lives within it, supernatural or otherwise. Deal?"

"... I want to know who this Alpha is, and meet him or her first. I need to make sure he or she isn't using the problems with my pack to steal my betas as a part of a takeover." Derek didn't even look up when he spoke. That didn't surprise anyone, well, at least not anymore than the fact he'd shown enough emotion to hide his face in the first place. No, the big shocker was he explained his reasoning, rather than just refusing outright or demanding (violently) to meet the Alpha. Peter was proud of his nephew as an Alpha for the first time ever. And, well, since one of his best acts as Alpha had been killing Peter (giving him a chance to regain his sanity once he resurrected) and since he'd been Alpha for nearly a decade now, that was saying something. Especially since, well, after just how bad an Alpha insane-Peter had been, sane-Peter's standards just weren't that high.

Lydia was already shaking her head before her mouth even opened, "No, absolutely not, you'll hurt him, it isn't safe, no no nononononono!" Victoria put her hand over Lydia's mouth. 

"We'll get back to you on that, dear. We'll have to see what he says about it. If he agrees, it'll most likely have to be someplace neutral and mediated for both your sakes, don't you think? So, Chris, why don't we open up our house for them, if he says he'd be alright with that? You'd be fine over at our house, wouldn't you dear?" She smiled, sort of, at Derek without taking her eyes off of the still protesting if now muffled by a hand over her mouth Lydia.

For his part, Chris sighed, then made a meaningless hand gesture. "I don't see any other choice. So, fine."

Derek, who had yet to stand, open his eyes, or take his hands off of his face (obviously missing all the meaningless hand gestures, and the meaningful glances) nodded his acquiescence, and that was it.

Their group left, the other group ranted, gossiped, randomly guessed, and generally tried to make sense out of their radically changed world. Derek continued sitting in the floor, nearly catatonic. Party over.


	4. the home farm

It was another beautiful, sunny day, just like any other. Lydia, Scott and Allison would be over soon, and Lydia had promised to bring a copy of her sonogram picture. Scott and Allison would be moving in to the smaller house, about a quarter mile from the main, later this summer, if everything went well. Lydia had asked, often, to move here as well, and Stiles was thankful for her devotion, but she needed to stay with her mate, soon to be husband. Scott had never really been pack, so his leaving wouldn't make waves, but Jackson would never and Lydia needed to be with him. He smiled softly, reminiscing mildly about the once-upon-a-time when he would have reveled in having even this much of her affections, would have given anything to be more important than Jackson. Now, he was older, wiser, and knew the two were meant to be together. This morning, he had sewn the last bead onto her wedding dress - his gift for the bride and groom. He'd give it to Lydia and let her oh and ah over it while he looked over the sonogram.

He was sitting on his front porch, rocking in the rocker, humming happily as he waited. He had the kids enrolled in a part-time day care program now, so that most of the time he could be with them rather than sending them off, like he'd had to do during classes. Some days though, no matter how much he loved being a stay at home dad, he just had to have time to himself. Or he needed to be in adult company, like today.

Jackson's car pulled up, and Stiles could see Lydia in the passenger seat, arms crossed and furious expression on her face. So they must be fighting again. Wasn't she supposed to be a med student? Didn't she know stress was bad for the baby? Still, their relationship was theirs, and it wasn't his place to interfere. Stiles smiled widely in welcome, and jumped up to greet them both at their respective doors with hugs.

"So when were you going to tell me you'd been turned? Was I not trustworthy enough? I kept the secret of your kids, your home, hell I even kept the fact you kept in touch with us at all secret and you couldn't trust me with this?" Jackson raved, yelling before he'd even made it out of the just opened car door. Lydia, still in the car huffed on her side, and turned to look out the window, away from the two men.

Stiles took a step back, a confused look on his face. "I didn't really keep it a secret, Jackson. I mean, I told you about the kids; how else did you think they happened?" He'd grown up, but the snark was still there, at the edges, and sometimes it was too irresistible even now to hold back. "Did you think I just clicked my ruby red slippers and wished them into being?" Jackson snarled, exiting the car and slamming the door viciously. Lydia, sulking, got out of the car at a much tamer pace, and went into the house. Stiles didn't bother call after her, or try to stop her. He knew where she'd be headed anyway - the craft room, so she could see her dress. "How about we head into the kitchen, and I'll fix us both a milkshake, and we can talk about it then, okay?" 

Just a few minutes (and one loud use of a blender) later, and the two were seated at the kitchen table slurping their milkshakes, and eying each other uneasily. Ok, Stiles was slurping and Jackson was drinking in a much more quiet and refined manner, but whatever. Jackson broke the awkward silence with a discreet cough. Stiles stared at the table, took another loud slurp, then cleared his throat.

"Umm, okay, remember after the so-called Alpha pack came here?"

He just looked at Stiles like he was an idiot. Of course he remembered. Stiles fake coughed, and looked away.

"Okay, yeah, so umm.. do you remember afterwards when I had to explain pack dynamics to everyone?"

Jackson nodded. It had been mildly amusing, as even Derek hadn't known some of what Stiles had mentioned, but as had been pointed out to Scot when he made an issue of it - he had not been in line for Alpha when at 15 his entire family had been killed. Plus, the six years he spent with Laura, mostly hiding and pretending to be human, while she tried her best to be his Alpha did not exactly help nurture his innate knowledge. Then he frowned. How did this pertain?

"How does the fact someone can not become an Alpha just from killing another Alpha unless it is a challenge for the rights to a pack make you pregnant from sex - despite being a male, and turn you without a bite?"

Stiles sighed, and ran a hand down his face. "Obviously you only remember the highlights. No big, when everything was shit crazy with me and I was trying to figure out what was happening to me, I didn't remember either. It's pretty simple - a true pack, and not just a group of lunatics in an unstable alliance calling themselves a pack, is lead by either a single Alpha or an Alpha PAIR. Under the right circumstances, the magic component of the chaotic mix that is a werewolf construes sex as the claiming of an exclusive mate. Umm... this gets pretty embarrassing really fast, so maybe you should just read the pertinent paragraphs... Do you still have the scanned copy of the bestiary on your phone?"

"...I think so."

"Okay... open it up and read page 247. Then read pages 356 to 360."

"You know those off-hand pretty well."

"Of course I do - I freakin' memorized them when I found out I was pregnant." Stiles snapped. Temper not in the best place, he refilled his shake while Jackson read. He had just sat back down and was ready to suck down some awesome strawberry goodness when Jackson gasped out loud in shock.

"You mean you let him.... in his Alpha form?!?"

"Well, to be honest, I think he kind of wolfed out after we got started, because ... God, this is so embarrassing - I never ask you about your sex life!"

"My sex life never affected the entire pack."

"How does me being a wolf and having kids affect the pack?" Stiles was very confused, and it was Jackson's turn to give the 'are you freakin' kidding me' stare.

"How about we talk about that later? Now, you were saying?"

Stiles blushed, and cursed himself for it - he was a man, damn it! Men don't blush! They redden from exertion, arousal, and rage - but they don't blush! And he's ranting at himself in his own head while Jackson's trying to talk to him... time to check his herbals' dosage. Later. Talking to Jackson now. Right.

"Where was I? Oh, right.. umm.. I felt something kinda odd, and then well, my memory gets a bit odd at that point. Between the magic being forced upon me to change me, and the pain of the change, and the hormones from the sudden drop into heat we"

"HEAT?" JAckson burst in, interrupting.

"Hadn't read that far, huh? Yeah, umm... Derek must have been in rut - only way it works, apparently, so as the 'receptive partner' I was put in the 'corresponding condition' : heat. Two werewolves fucking, one in rut, the other in heat; equals new werewolves."

"But, I thought only bitches went into heat?"

"What part of corresponding condition and Alpha PAIR confuses you? When he changed me, he changed me to be his pair - and since I was the receiver, that meant"

"Holy shit, he made you a bitch!"

"An Alpha female, yes. And no. I'm still me, and still have all my bits, in every form... just now I have a bit extra, on the inside."

Jackson looked really interested. "How does that even work?"

"Well, just inside my anus... seriously, do you really have to know this?!? Fuck my life, how is it my life when I have to tell YOU of all people about my bits... and my extra bits! Can't I have some privacy?"

Jackson ignored this outburst and just waited. Stiles banged his head onto the table. "Arrrrgh!" He waited some more, knowing Stiles would break.

"Damn it! Fine! My colon splits, ok? Just inside my anus, there's a divide. It leads into a vagina, but it's closed off to prevent infection, and can only be opened by the touch of a werewolf."

"How the hell did you learn that?" Jackson leaned in closer, as Stiles straightened up, and glared at him.

"Well, Dr.Deaton tried to scope me, to make sure everything was okay, but," he grimaced and looked away, "he couldn't, but then Scott..." he closed his eyes and shuddered in revulsion at the horrific, traumatizing memories. :You know what - you really don't want to know. Just trust me on this one." Jackson blinked, but didn't push.

"So, why aren't you with him if he's your mate?"

"Was. Was my mate - wolves aren't naturally monogamous, you know - that's a total myth. Now, the Alpha pair, if there is one in a pack does get first rights on breeding, and in some cases exclusive rights, which is where the myth came from. But, being part of the pair is still a part of the hierarchy; it can change. Pack dynamics. Now, since werewolves are a mix of human, wolf, and magic - the dynamics aren't the same as a normal wolf pack, but mating doesn't have to be permanent. The moment he tossed me out of the pack; our mate-ship ended. I'm not bound to him at all."

"Does that mean you're a normal were now?"

Stiles frowned. "While I'm not the same as you, I don't think any werewolf could be classified as 'normal,' Jackson. Wasn't that the draw for you? And, no - the way I changed was the way I changed. Unfortunately."

"Well, you got the kids out of it, and apparently you're an Alpha. Besides a little embarrassment about being part girl, I don't see what's so 'unfortunate' about it." Jackson was so never going to let him live that down, either; now that he knew. Heh. He always knew Stiles was a girl!

"...I still go into heat." Stiles muttered. Had Jackson not had super hearing, he'd never have caught that. But now that he did... "Oh, hell."

Stiles nodded morosely. "It gets worse. I stay wolfed out the full week and can't change back."

Jackson blanched. "What about the kids?" 

"Hello the house!" Allison's voice rang out, breaking in on yet another 'make Stiles panic' chat.

"DADDY!!!!" Four tiny, wild blurs ran in and attacked the adults, pouncing on them and furniture, and, well - everything, as if conjured by the question.

"We picked the kids up from day care on our way, I hope that's alright." Scott announced as he came in, carrying the fifth and final Stilinski brat.

Stiles beamed. He couldn't help it. With all his heart, broken though it may be, he loved his kids. Three strong, healthy boys, and identical twin girls. His. 

Everything else could sort itself out later, including telling Jackson that this year Scott and Allison were on babysitting duty in their cottage when Stiles waited out his heat.


	5. the letter

Derek sat at his table, re-reading the letter for what felt like the millionth time, his thoughts going a mile a minute.

"Derek,  
First off, I'm so very sorry about what happened at your home the other day. I had no idea Lydia was planning any such actions, or that she harbored such anger and misconceptions... it was never my intentions or my desires to harm you or your pack in any way, shape or form.  
I cannot apologize for everyone, however.   
Firstly because, for an apology to be accepted it needs to be genuine, and one given by someone other than the one at fault can never be. I learned that when everyone came to me to apologize for Scott, way back when, when we were so close to losing our friendship forever. Even you came once, do you remember?   
Secondly, I cannot because I cannot even pretend to have control over their actions. As you should know better than anyone, the Argents have crazy running through their veins, and do whatever they feel like, twisting their code, agreements, and beliefs to fit the justifications they chose. Even Allison shows that tendency, though to a lesser degree, which I think is due to the pack, especially Scott, having a positive influence.  
And, finally, because while I did not know about what Lydia was doing, and did, I did know about some of it. I knew Scott was planning on leaving you. He has been for years, although at first I tried talking him out of it, when I first realized I couldn't, I tried talking him into applying to you for a chance to be a neutral omega, since he was still going to be a vet/healer in the Beacon Hills area, and would have to interact with you. I thought, foolishly perhaps, that he had. Then, last year, I had some issues occur that made me need a pack, so he offered to join me. Hurting you by leaving as if it was a punishment was not something I expected of him, although, perhaps since he has done as much to both Allison and to me, perhaps I should have. I'm so sorry that this happened.  
Now that the evening from hell is out of the way, I have some more apologizing and explaining to do. Gods, I had hoped I would never have to do this! I know both Lydia and the Argents blamed you, and I know how you tend to dwell and blame yourself for everything, so I bet you do too, but what happened was not your fault. We both knew, although it was really rare and the conditions a bit extreme, that sex could turn a human. I researched it before, after all, after the 'Alpha pack.' (So not a real pack!!!) But, I forgot, and I'm certain you did too, and well, we were two consenting adults. I do not blame you. Accidents happen, and this one did have many/several/five positive outcomes from it.  
Also, when I was reaming Lydia over her actions she confessed to stealing your library, which Allision had worked very hard and spent a great deal of your money on... I have no freakin clue how to make up for that; bringing the books back is a gimmy but that's clearly not enough. Someone could have been seriously harmed by her actions. I'm thinking about making her do all the shifting of the books, as well as the paying for the costs of duplicating them for my library (because I do want a decent one, but not one that's been stolen from you.) Do you think Danny might be willing to scan them, digitize/encyclopedia database/cross-reference them like he did the beastiary? If so, I might have her pay for his efforts instead, so you could have the actual books as well as the electronic resources, and I'd just buy the digital from him... let me know, will you?  
Umm, I don't know if you still want to meet at the Argents' or not, but if you do, let me know when. I do have some commitments, so we may have to negotiate some, umm... ask Jackson, he has my number, we can text about it.  
~Stiles"

He leaned back, paper crumpling in his fist. Stiles. Stiles was back, he could see him, talk to him... Stiles was an Alpha; he'd never again be pack. He could never truly make up for his accidental words, meanings to things he never meant to say.

Did everyone know? Was that why they kept him from Stiles? Were they afraid he'd kill Stiles over territory? 

Was Stiles afraid? 

He knew he could trust Stiles once, but it had been five years, could he still? Could he make this alliance?

Did that night haunt Stiles like it did Derek? ... of course it did, it turned him, changed his entire life - how could it not! But, did he long for Derek like Derek longed for Stiles?

Did it matter? After five years, and with both being Alphas, they could never be together. They were both males; they couldn't be an Alpha pair and a pack only had one Alpha if they didn't have a pair.

How was he going to be able to be around Stiles again, knowing they couldn't be together? When just the thought of him leaving, even leaving temporarily, had drove him to get so drunk he, an Alpha werewolf, had blank spots in his memories! Losing him was .... wrong. Like cutting out a part of his soul that he'd thought he'd lost when he found out Kate had used him, lied to him, hurt him, and all to destroy everything and everyone he'd ever loved.

Derek closed his eyes, leaning his head back. Life was simpler before Jackson delivered Stiles' letter. Less complicated. His thoughts were less conflicted, less confused. He knew he'd answer, but he had no clue what he'd say. What he'd do. He stood, resolute, calm, confident... if only in appearance. Jackson had a number he needed to get, and answers to questions he was going to ask.


	6. memories

Kids finally in bed, and at least pretending to be asleep, Stiles allowed his mind to drift. 

It was days after he'd finally found out what was happening to him, and he knew he'd need both a human doctor or midwife, and a vet, one, if not both, magically inclined. He was no longer in Beacon Hills, he had no idea who to talk to - the only supernatural folk he new here was the local pack. His child/children/pup/puppies? had a 50/50 shot of being weres, and that was the most normal thing about this pregnancy. And his current biology. He needed help, if he was to survive, and he couldn't go running back to Derek. No matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't. He wasn't wanted. Derek hadn't wanted him in the pack, and if he showed up now, turned, it would seem like he was trying to force his way in. Plus, he wouldn't be one of those women (he wasn't a woman at all, damn it!) that used pregnancy to try to force men into an unwanted relationship. There would be no entrapment here. 

He was on his own.

Even with hormones, fear, and isolation kicking his ass he didn't cry. He settled down in front of the computer in his tiny on-campus apartment, preparing to do what he did best -research. He stopped. There was a yellow sticky note with the local Alpha's name, number and e-mail address taking up an upper corner of the screen. 

He was there by treaty as part of Derek's pack originally, but he wasn't pack now. He also wasn't human. Cons - if she found out on her own, the Alpha would most likely kill him. Cons - if he told her, she might tell Derek, and end up forcing/trapping him with Stiles. Stiles, whom was unwanted. Cons - if he told her, she might force him to join her pack, and he'd never get to go home, see his family again. See his Dad again, see if he still blamed Stiles for her death and all the trials of raising Stiles alone. See if he could love his grandchild/children/pup/puppies? Con - if he didn't tell her, he would almost certainly be unable to find the help he needed, leading to his, his child/children/pup/puppies (he was seriously in need of knowing what exactly, and how many, he was carrying) or both/all? dying. Pro - she might actually help. She had been very courteous when negotiations occurred before, and seemed both kind and open-minded...

Still conflicted, he turned his computer on, and opened his e-mail account...

 

It was time! His stomach was stretched horribly, and spasming with malicious intent. Although most people don't realize it, men and women have the exact same muscles in their abdomen. The same muscles currently rebelling with all their glory, causing excruciating pain in Stiles. During one of his many exams, it became clear all the puppies were indeed puppies, which both worried and delighted everyone involved. No one had been certain how long the pregnancy would last (today was seven months, two weeks, and six days) as it could be as short as a wolf's (around three months) or as long as a human's (a week past nine months) or anywhere in between (we have a winner, folks!) 

As puppies, they would be considerably smaller than human babies, but even with Stiles switching to wolf form, since all his adaptations were internal (as Dr. Deaton discovered during a weekend visit back months ago) it was unlikely there would be enough room to push them out. A cesarean was the obvious option, but as magic was involved, and cesarean's hadn't been around yet when this sort of magic first occurred, there had to be a way for 'natural'/supernatural birth to occur. The vet wanted to see. His midwife thought that was unnecessarily cruel. Stiles agreed. Especially after someone mentioned wolf pups sometimes chewed their way out of dead or dying moms, if they were still alive... Stiles had been too freaked to research whether that was fact or fiction... no way was ANYTHING chewing its way out of Stiles! (He'd grown up with the Aliens movie franchise, and he was with Ripley - the idea induced nightmares.)

He texted his temporary Alpha, panicking, when he realized he'd just coughed up blood. There was no way he could drive hi...everything was black.

It was graduation night, there were parties everywhere, and clubs doing a brisk (if mildly illegal, what with the not yet 21 drinkers) trade. Derek had snuck into his room, again, just as he was preparing to log on to his laptop. He was going to play DD for the pack, and needed to know when/where/who... wolves reacted much worse and much faster to alcohol than humans, and it seemed although not poisoned by it like wolves were, the ease of its effects did translate over to werewolves. Scott had demonstrated this (though he wasn't aware Stiles had been using him as a test subject) more than once. Stiles had the notes.

And holy hell! Derek was... God damn, he's a good kisser... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck... oh, hell was that?!?! Yes, yes, that was! His hands were down Stiles' pants, and.... not thinking anymore..

It was yesterday, and he'd just received a text from an unfamiliar number, no greeting, just a date and time. He saved the number under 'Sourwolf,' checked his calender, called the daycare, then texted a simple 'okay' back. In two days, he'd be meeting Derek again. Seeing his beautiful eyes in his own face, not in Laura's or Rue's. He wasn't ready. His heart couldn't take it the first time. But, they weren't meeting as friends much less lovers; just potential allies at best, future enemies at worst. He sank down onto his couch, curled around his phone, and for the first time in years (more than five, he hadn't cried at the birth - he hadn't been *awake*) (he also hadn't cried over Derek back then, no matter what Lydia said) so, yes, first time in years - cried.


	7. let's talk about sex

There were a great many reasons in the animal kingdom to have sex.

First amongst them was socialization, not procreation.  
There were many, many reasons and ways sex helped with socialization.

The first way was by creating bonds. Bonds between unrelated members of the same species - like lions. Lions, after all, did not share the same blood ties as the rest of the pride, and the only thing holding them in the group were the cubs they fathered and the minimal protection offered from other lions. Which, as the lions mostly wouldn't hurt the lionesses (mostly... too much..) as they still wanted to mate those lionesses themselves, they were really only a threat to the cubs and the lions whose position they wanted to steal. So, even when the lionesses were not in heat, the lion would mate every lioness in the pride several times a day, to create a bond. When it worked, the lionesses themselves would assist in defeating challengers, preferring their current mates to new, untried lions. Bonds could also be created between unrelated species. This is especially documented in sea mammals living in captivity. Dolphins often attempt to mate their human caregivers to bring them into the pod. It is also noted in the wild with manatees. These 'sea cows' are so docile even wild that tourist groups had organized around the idea of snorkeling with them. But, there has yet to be a tour guide to not give the warning about too much rubbing under their fins - as that makes them attempt to mount their current petter and drowning has actually occurred.

Secondly, it aids in socialization by establishing hierarchy. It is simply about placement in the group. A more dominant animal, for example a dog, will mount a less dominant one. In cases of establishing dominance, female dogs will mount the male. Gender has no importance in this; making it very clearly not involving procreation.

Thirdly, is the claiming and marking of territory. Yes, being possessive is a part of socialization. Recognizing and accepting, challenging, claiming, fighting over, and avoiding territory are all social behaviors, after all. And, when several animal species use not just rubbing the scent of their fur, or the remains of their waste, but intentional marking via ejaculation to mark territory, this is clearly a sexualized behavior. One most frequently cursed about in owners of unfixed tom cats, as they are known for not only using this sort of marking to claim their partners as territory, but also their homes, owner's cloths, bed... and anything else they can aim at.

The final reason is emotions. Now, it is rather difficult (if not impossible) for a normal human to know or understand the thoughts or feelings of any animal, though general guesses can be made, the fact that they have emotions is indisputable. After all, psychologists had a grand ole time testing (torturing) them before some of the more cruel suggestions became illegal. Like the housecat on a brick in water... or the mother and kitten with the shock treatments... but, digressing... So, if they do have emotions, should it not be fairly obvious that sometimes sex is about caring? Maybe even... love? Certainly pleasure can be involved, otherwise, why would pigs be capable of a continuous thirty minute orgasm? Not the boars, mind you - the sows. Only the boars need to orgasm if it is a matter for conception.

It's only after socialization that procreation comes into play in the animal kingdom, and that too, is a complicated matter.

Some species are polyamoric, some are truly monogamous, others are only monogamous during a certain season. Some species do not have a set mating season, others do. In the ones that do, in some only the males enter rut, in others only the females enter heat, and other still exhibit both. Then there's conception itself... and how it can be controlled in some species. For example, female robins chose a mate to spend the year with to help raise the resulting offspring. However, as her selection may be limited, she might actually have sex with a different male robin and choose to conceive with him rather than the male helping hatch her eggs, and raise the chicks. She even has enough control as to choose how many eggs, at at what time, they are fertilized. Queen bees have similar control over the sperm stored in their bodies from the only mating flight they experience in their lives, which may come from only one drone or from as many as five. In fact, bees control might even be greater, as they can also choose the gender of their offspring.

Sex, in the animal kingdom is a truly complicated affair. Almost as complicated as in the human world, and for nearly as many reasons.

For werewolves, which take all the best and all the worst aspects from both and add them together, and then throw in magic for good measure... things are even more complicated.

Yes, there was a reason Stiles was dwelling on all of this, and letting the otherwise useless knowledge circle his brain. His body last year had decided his kids were old enough he could handle conceiving more. Thus, for the first time in memory (he really didn't remember too much about their conception) Stiles had unexpectedly gone into heat. It had been a decidedly unpleasant experience. Why should that matter now? Well, he was going into heat in approximately two weeks.

And, yeah, Stiles had more important things he could be dwelling on. Things much closer in time. Like... Derek. Seeing Derek tomorrow, for the first time in... damn it, he was not dwelling on this! For his peace of mind, he was not!

So. Focusing on his upcoming heat, and getting ready it is!

Mini plug-in fan to supplement the AC in whatever room he happened to be in? Check! (And why, exactly did his heat have to actually live up to its name? Since sex itself raised the body's natural temperature, wouldn't raising it before sex, then again during sex, increase the odds of heat exhaustion and collapse, thus making continuing and conception impossible? It wasn't logical! Darn nature and her conflicting imperatives!) 

Mini fridge by the bedside for when his legs wouldn't work any more due to muscle spasms? Check!

Bottles of water and Gatorade? Check! Other electrolyte balancing food items... no check, bananas and spinach really don't keep that long. But, he did have a groceries list...

Toys? *Blush* Damn it, Stiles, men *DO NOT BLUSH!!!* Wait, thinking about sex... flushing in arousal = ok, and thinking about sex... it's all good. Wasn't a blush. Anyways.. toys... check. Spare batteries... check. May want to add a battery charger to the list as well, just in case...

Canine scent blocker, puppy farm strength? Check! Umm, what's the expiration date on that, and can I open the bottle with my teeth in Alpha form? Shit, expired. And, no. Hmm. Have to get Scott to get more from Dr.Deaton, then... and maybe pre-plant the pills in a steak or something, to make eating them easier.

Wait, how am I going to use toys with no hands? Even if they do have suction cups to stay, I can't turn them on or off, or change the batteries... damn it. Plain dildos, then... no vibrators. Well, maybe I'll use these after my heat; just for some fun... God, Stiles, get a boyfriend!

Shower upgrades? Well, the contractor says yes; I'll test in the morning. If I really can use a push button adjustment system for both temp and pressure, my paws ought work enough. I can hose myself down, even if I can't use soap... better than last year! Never thought I'd be complaining about not getting to take a bath (except after lacrosse, sports makes guys grungy.) So, half-check?

Baby sitters? Lined up - Check!!!

Stiles eventually fell asleep, his mind still running marathons only slightly directed by him. Tomorrow was going to be a very important day.

 

After all, there are vast difference


	8. Peter Piper

Surprisingly, the first person he saw after his (disastrous) meeting with Derek, was Peter. 

How, Stiles had no clue, since he shouldn't have even known where this place was, much less been able to cross the boundaries with all the enchantments protecting it. But, there he was, sitting at Stiles' kitchen table, sipping his morning cup of coffee, and looking like he owned the place. He seated himself, warily.

After another deliberate sip, Peter sat the cup down, and looked at Stiles. "There are a few things I think you ought to know, and if you listen them, then I might just keep this visit, and everything I learned here a secret from Daddy Derek." Stiles heart stopped for a second, but besides briefly closing his eyes, and inhaling deeply once, he showed no signs.

"...I'm listening."

"Yesterday Derek told you something you did not fully appreciate nor take very seriously. I know, because he came home so wrecked from seeing you he actually talked to me - without prodding. Did you honestly think at any point it was a smart idea to mock his feelings when he explained himself to you?"

Stiles held his anger. Having kids taught a lot about calming down, and if Peter was going to lecture him, so be it. He could just let it slide. He could.

"...wasn't trying to boot you from the pack, or from his life, hell he spent most of a year trying to find you, only to be stonewalled by his own pack! Do you have any idea how that can effect someone?" Stiles tuned back into the rant. Derek had tried to get back in touch with him? When had that happened? Why hadn't anyone told him? "It hurt him as an Alpha in addition to the pain he already felt as a lover over you. And why? Because he fucking well wanted to protect you from himself! And you're so damn appreciative of the pain my only living relative - well, until recently I suppose, my only living relative - and you'd better damn well have an excellent, not good, excellent, reason for that. You thought I was scary when I was insane? Stiles, you have no fucking clue. He was 14 when he met Kate. 14. Do you know how old she was? Let me give you a hint: Alison, you classmate, friend, and best friend's wife, was her *niece*. You and Derek? 7 year gap right? That's no different than some brothers, maybe - but he doesn't see it that way. But her... she was older. She was an adult. Stiles, when he said he was afraid he was going to be like Kate, and *that's* why it was a mistake, you have no fucking clue just what he meant by that - how fucking much of a mess you made." Peter stood abruptly, his fury finally showing on his face as much as it had shown in his tone and language.

Stiles didn't know what to think. Honestly, it had never occurred to him to think about the age gap between him and Derek that way. When he had brought it up, at the meeting at the Argent's, and mentioned Kate, Stiles had just snapped. He was sick of everything being because of what Kate did - at some point Derek needed to take some responsibility for his own damn life and move on.

"Before this shit storm you created, and the destruction you reigned down on our pack, Lydia and I had actually managed to come to terms. I'm actually a pretty decent guy most of the time, Stiles. But you and I? We will never come to terms, and should Derek ever decide you aren't worth protecting anymore, or that your treaty is the absolute shit that it is, I'm going to give you that bite I offered you so long ago - and use it to swallow your heart whole. This is my notice to you, Stiles." With that, he turned, and very calmly walked out the door, closing it a quiet click that displayed far more anger than any slam ever could.

Stiles thought maybe, just maybe, he deserved it. Derek had apologized, and tried to explain. Apparently, if Peter could be believed, he'd tried to fix things years ago, when it might have mattered. He had wanted Stiles, always had, back then... and had only wanted to wait until Stiles was a little older, wiser, and knew for sure what he wanted. He hadn't wanted to trap Stiles like Kate had trapped him, using their different ages and maturities to manipulate him like she had to Derek.... and Stiles had mocked him when he admitted it, admitted something that had to have hurt him horribly.

Okay, yeah - he deserved it. He needed to make this right. Oh, Gods... and the kids... if he'd wanted Stiles, and with no family to speak of - he'd've wanted the kids! When he found out about them, he was never, ever, going to forgive Stiles...

Stiles would have kept wallowing but Felix was already stirring and Rue would be up any minute now; those two were his light sleepers of his bunch.

He stood, every joint aching like they had only so often after a really rough game back when he was still human; psychosomatic pain, he knew, and stretched slowly as he did. Time to go make pancakes; he'd figure the rest out later. His stomach gurgled unhappily, and he felt vaguely nauseous, but he figured that was more of his being upset. He started his herbal tea brewing, as began mixing the batter.

He'd text Derek, and set up a meeting with him sometime later, and he'd apologize for being an ass. Besides, they still needed to figure out the logistics of Lydia being in his pack, but owing Derek, and Jackson being in Derek's, but the two being together. There was also Stiles worries about how he, himself, would handle Lydia's baby. He had worries. Derek couldn't know the reasons for the worries, but he might be able to help with fixing them.

No, no. No. He's going to tell Derek, it isn't right to keep him from his children, not now. Not when he might actually want them, want to be a part of their lives.

He could do this, he could tell him. 

Yeah. That'll work. That'll go over real well. Not.

What would he *say*? 'Derek, you know how I'm an Alpha due to your magical sperm? Well, I'm also a female Alpha, had your FIVE, yes FIVE, pups - because it's not special enough for the universe to make me one of only 100 men this has ever happened to in, ever - since werewolf lore has been tracked anywhere worldwide, written or vocal, as far as Sheila, his temporary Alpha when he was in school, could ever trace. No, not a big enough foobar for Stiles! No, he has to be the only one EVER to be capable of carrying a LITTER! Which, sorry to have hidden them from you, tell you all about it later, but right now we need to talk about Lydia, so can you rip my throat out some other time?'

Yeah, not gonna happen.

Or how about, 'So, umm, Derek, you know how in natural wolf packs, the females go hide in private dens the rest of the pack can't come to until the pups are old enough? It's because the males might kill the pups to force an off-season heat so they can breed the females and makes sure theirs are the only pups. Yeah, and the other females can also be bad, apparently, since packs believe in group-mothering, so moms can and do steal other pups, which if they don't have the proper bonding time - the pups never know, once they've joined the pack and started in on that group-Mom thing. They always think the other's their mom, when she isn't. And me? Since I'm male, but a female Alpha, and a were which has both human and animal and magical instincts... well, there's just no guessing what I might or might not do. So, you've kinda gotta protect the female you hate from me, the reason she fucked up your life, as a favor to me, whom you're about to hate with an unholy glee... as soon as the female Alpha bit registers, and you start asking the right questions..' Yeah. Also a 'no.'

Stiles had no idea how he was going to do this.


	9. Changing Scent

Derek paced outside the cafe nervously. Three days running now, Stiles had texted to meet somewhere (the library, a coffee house, the mall) and then after not showing, texted an apology and request for reschedule, claiming illness. Stiles was now thirty minutes late, and Derek resolutely refused to look at his phone. If Stiles cancelled again today, that was it. 

Besides, Derek did not really believe Stiles was sick. Not that it wasn't possible, because while werewolves did universally have accelerated healing, and enhanced strength, (Dr. Deaton said that came from the wolf's metabolism; they aged faster, living shorter lives, so their cells turned over quicker - it was magic that slowed aging down to lengthen a were's lifespan to that of a normal human -sometimes longer- despite the wolf's metabolism) werewolves did not have a universally strengthened immune system. Just like most pre-existing conditions could be cured, but not all could, in a turned wolf - not every one, born or bitten, became immune to all natural diseases. 

But Stiles had been turned into an Alpha, with no lower rank intermediary, meaning he should have received the maximum benefits, and he'd already been screwed on his ADHD (which had been weakened, but not totally cured) when he changed, from what Derek learned at their meeting. So, his immune system shouldn't have been human-weak, not that as a human, he'd been particularly susceptible to illnesses as was. In fact, he couldn't remember Stiles ever really being sick - not even after the pool incident, and that should have given him a great case of pneumonia. 

If he called rather than texting, Derek could hear if it was a lie. Stiles knew that.

Derek did not believe. He wasn't surprised, then, when a buzzing in his pocket alerted him to an incoming text. Frowning in disappointment, though not surprise, not this time, he looked. Stiles, shocker. He opened it, annoyance at the games Stiles seemed to be playing with him briefly flaring.  
'Derek - l8t. Still ill, but coming. W8t.'

Huh? It took him a minute, as always, to translate text-speak, but once he did, he smiled. So, Stiles wasn't lying, and he was coming. He walked into the cafe, and found a table, preparing to wait. When the worker (waitress?) came by, he ordered a latte and told her he was waiting for someone. 

When he arrived, Derek actually missed his entrance, didn't notice him until he sat down, the scent he'd been looking for hidden. He looked up at the man who had sat without so much as a by-your-leave prepared to snap and make him go, when the recognition kicked in. "Stiles?" Stiles looked bad.

He was pale, but flushed, like he was running a fever, and had a chalky scent clinging to him that Derek associated with horrible commercials and schools' nurses offices. Pep-to. He smelled Pep-to! "Are you ok?"

"Umm, no, no, not really, no, just no." Stiles was nervous, and filled with his usual energy, but he did still seem off. Something... there was something strange under the smell of Pep-to, something different about Stiles' scent; but it wasn't a sick-smell. What was it? "But I kept rescheduling, and that wasn't fair to you, so I came. I mean, you're here as a favor to me, why should I make it any harder? So, yeah, just - don't breath my air, ok? I don't want you sick like I am."

"Vomiting, huh?" Derek asked, sympathetically. 

Stiles flushed, ducking his head. "No, not exactly." He answered, his voice high and squeaky, for all that his reply was as soft as a whisper.

Eyebrows cocked, "Then what...? OH!" Derek looked embarrassed, as he finally caught on. He *did* still remember those commercials, annoying or not... 'nausea, heartburn, upset stomach...' so one, and so forth. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. "Well, Stiles, unless what you wanted to talk about was absolutely dire, or under some sort of time constraint, making us *have* to talk now, I *can* wait. You're sick; go home, get some rest. Feel better and then we'll talk." Derek wasn't a complete prick, no matter what some people might think, and he'd always tried to take care of Stiles. He just was a bit more normal with his ways of showing care now that time and experience, and peace, had given him a chance to be a better man.

Stiles flushed, again, ashamed of yet again wasting Derek's time, and worried that he still hadn't told him, and now he wouldn't get to, Derek was already standing to leave.

Derek's nose flared. There it was! That strange scent, almost like... arousal? By why would Stiles be turned on when he was suffering chronic diarrhea? It made no sense; that couldn't be the smell, what was it?

The two parted, both caught up in their own thoughts, obsessing about the other, but unable to see it. So caught up were they, they did not even notice that today was the day before the full moon, the first full moon sense the two had become aware of each other again, and would be spent sharing territory openly. Too devoted to figuring out problems that might not even really need resolving, to worry about the consequences of what the night would bring.


End file.
